I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
