the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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