And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
