Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
