Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
