Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
