i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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