Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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