I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
