Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
