If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
