The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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