it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
