Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
