thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
