Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
my poor anus
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
