Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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