girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
