All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
