You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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