He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize