Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
