On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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