Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
