He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
