Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
