she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
