i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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