ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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