Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
