girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
