Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
