Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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