you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
did i just pee glitter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
