If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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