i barfeds in our rink
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
