I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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