I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
