Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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