This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
