this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
