after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dick very happy bro
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
