i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
