sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
