So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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