WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
