dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
