2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
