they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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