do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
