another moral hangover. fuck.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
